Crumply is the new Grumpy
Today I am going to write about how grumpy I feel. I like to call it crumply, that’s when you are grumpy for no particular reason and your face is a bit squinched up (yup squinched is another made-up-word that I like to use).
And no one is perfect, right? And all these perfect blogs are BORING, right? So here I am, my job being to ‘make your life beautiful’ but like all normal people, sometimes I just don’t feel like that!
I try not to take it out on others… Except for Steve at the Volvo dealership who I made apologise to me because he was rude. Yes, well he was. Anyway, my friends are now making fun of me and going around chirping ‘Steve who???!!!’, which is what I demanded of poor Steve’s workmate, when I asked him ‘what is that rude man’s name?’ The man said ‘Steve.’ I said “Steve WHO?’
Soooo, how to make me smile a bit today… Hmmm. How about this book I found.
It’s called How to Sue Everyone, Ready-To-Use Legal Letters to Terrorize Friends and Family. It made me smile, well only a little bit because I am working on being crumply, you see.
This book is full of ready-to-complete faux legal forms that you can ’serve’ to anybody who dares to annoy you.
Your kids come home after curfew? Serve them with an official notice putting them up for adoption. Boyfriend has b.o.? Make him fill out a Personal Hygiene Pledge Card, if that doesn’t work it may be time for a Notice of Dismissal. No food on the table? Absence of Food Report. Gedditt?
Well it made me laugh in that I-feel-evil-today-kinda-way.
Oh! What’s happening to me! A little creepy-crawley smile has appeared across my face.
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